Stopping the Leak at the Source, So To Speak
Today, Roe v. Wade is dead. States are welcome to ban abortion if they so choose.
In the morning of the Supreme Court's decision to overturn the nearly 50-year-old ruling, trigger laws in a dozen states started going into effect, restricting or preventing abortion access for millions of women. More laws will surely come in the future with states governing exactly what a woman can and can't do with her own sex parts.
There's a lot to be upset about with this decision. Whether its the fact that its a massive removal of women's rights, to the fact that multiple supreme court justices lied about their lack of desire to overturn Roe v. Wade, only to change their minds in this decision, to the fact that Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas hinted in his written opinion that more rights may be on the chopping block, people are mad for a lot of reasons.
It's true, the precedent set by overturning Roe v. Wade sets a disturbing shadow over rights that have been established in a similar way. Rights to same-sex marriage, rights governing access to contraception, even rights to consensual non-heterosexual romantic relationships may start getting shaved away with this fresh new Supreme Court.
But there's one thing the Supreme Court is missing, and that's sperm. Not an acronym, not some silly modern slang, actual viscous sperm. Regarding women's rights, sperm is at the root of all the problems we are facing today.
Everyone focuses on the rights of the woman vs. the rights of the unborn, but miss out on the fact that it literally takes two to tango; there's a whole other person involved, and their rights -- specifically the rights of their jizz -- are largely ignored.
Today, men get carte blanche to shoot their stuff anywhere they want: inside, outside, on hair, in a tissue, with a very special sock, wherever. While most of the time this doesn't cause an issue in polite society, we wouldn't be having this whole abortion argument if men would just literally keep it in their balls.
Onanism (planting your seed somewhere that wasn't explicitly a welcoming and fertile ... plot of land) was a practice that was looked down upon in the Bible. It's literally in the book of Genesis as a sin punished by death. What kind of Christian Crypto-theocracy is America pretending to be if we don't use this fundamental Biblical lesson as a reason to use the government to control a man's ability to fire ropes?
"But," you may say, "men have been getting away with spilling seed for literally thousands of years with little to no consequence. How do you plan on enforcing such a law?" Just like tracking woman's possible miscarriages/abortions, there are many ways today's government can keep their eyes on the balls. From social media usage, dating app activity, pornography traffic, lotion and tissue purchases, and more, you can rest assured that Big Brother can do its best to prevent any new Pearl Jam releases.
So write your congressperson today. Send copies to your favorite supreme court justices. Tell them this country is facing a major sperm problem. Let them know that women shouldn't be the only people being told to keep stuff inside their body that they don't want.
If you disagree with this viewpoint, maybe instead let your legislators know that everyone deserves the freedom to do what they want with their own body, and the government should maybe keep their hands off our sex parts.