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The Two Commandments of Donald Trump
July 19, 2020

Maybe two-and-a-half? I'm not that great at counting


If there's one thing I've learned from Christianity, it's that there is a lot of reverence placed on the Ten Commandments. It appears a few times in the Old Testament as a set of principles to better live one's life.

If there's another thing I've learned from Christianity, they do love themselves some Donald Trump. But why? Is Donald Trump a true representative of Christian moral values?

I decided to take Donald Trump and the Ten Commandments and mush them together to see what would come out the other end. Here's the result, in order of offensiveness:

NOTE: Before I dig in here, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to believe or that they're practicing their religion incorrectly. I'm trying to apply a set of religious principles to the people who follow those principles' continued choice for President. I also know NOT EVERY CHRISTIAN supports Donald Trump for president.

Thou shalt not covet

In the transcript of the video that included lines like "I moved on her like a bitch" and "grab her by the pussy," there was the oft-overlooked quote of "I did try and fuck her, she was married." Not only does that knock this Commandment out of the way, it also segues into:

Thou shalt not commit adultery

Just a reminder, Donald Trump is on wife number three. He cheated on Ivana Trump with Marla Maples. After divorcing Marla, he married Melania, who he then "allegedly" cheated on with both Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, two allegations severe enough to involve hush money payments of over $100,000.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor

Donald Trump currently sits at 20,055 false claims or lies. Yes, they are all accounted for in that link.

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy

It's OK, he uses it to golf. And tweet. Even though the President has both been critical of his predecessors for golfing and was known to repeatedly say things like "I'm not going to have time to go golfing," he found a way to make it work.

Thou shalt not kill

Trump (via drone) assassinated Iranian military leader Qasem Soleimani. We're not at war with Iran (yet), but this sure didn't help. Other people could argue that since 140,000 people have died from the COVID-19 pandemic, that there is some of that blood on his hands. He hasn't literally shot anyone on Fifth Avenue yet, but does it need to go that far?

Thou shalt not steal

The Trump Foundation was shuttered due to funneling millions of dollars from charity into Trump's business and political purposes. There is also the idea that since Trump maintains ownership of his hotels and conducts political business there, the money spent is being stolen from the taxpayer and given to him.

Thou shall not make unto thee any graven image.

Idolatry isn't exclusive to religious works. Trump slaps his name in giant letters on everything: his hotels, steaks, casinos, university, resorts, ice, and more.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain

"If you don't support me, you're going to be so goddamn poor." While the President has been known to have colorful language, here's the first example I found of him specifically taking the Lord's name in vain.

Honour thy father and thy mother

Donald Trump cites his father positively as teaching him everything he knows. He doesn't speak often of the relationship he had with his mother, but being quiet isn't dis-honoring her.

Thou shall not have any other gods before me.

As far as we know, he gets this one right.

So ... that's two commandments.

I wrote this article and I thought "there's got to be something more, here." People have been known to hold their bibles in one hand and MAGA (KAG?) signs in the other, spouting their love of Jesus and Trump in the same breath. What am I missing? Is it his views on abortion? His statemets on gun control? His "America First" rhetoric?

I've heard other people say things like, "It's unfair to hold Donald Trump's feet to the fire in regards to his moral character. He's a person, like you and me." That's true. But he is also president, and we as a nation should stive for better. Just because someone name-drops the big G and gives lip-service about single-issue-voter issues, that doesn't make them presidential material.

Or maybe it does. I mean, it did in 2016.

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